It wasn’t until I had been in India for about four months that something happened which I can only describe as the opening of my heart chakra. I had made a vowel to myself before coming to this land that I was going to start listening to the voice of my heart, but I hadn’t really expected anything to come of it.
After wrangling an invitation to a private shamanic session at Pachen’s house; I had no real expectations of the day other than to be able to witness another illuminating event. Pachen had requested an audience with Dorje Yama Kyong; a Tibetan protector deity channelled through a female shaman from Kargill (aptly referred to as Kargill Lhamo by her inner circle)
The session went smoothly I presume as it was conducted completely in Tibetan and I had no idea what was being said. It wasn’t until after the session had ended and everyone was preparing to leave that the magic happened for me.
Most of the attendees had filed out of Pachen’s house so that the only people left in the room were myself, Pachen, Kargill Lhamo and Lhamo Chokyi. Pachen got up and stood before Kargill Lhamo, took her delicate hands in his own weathered ones and raised them to his forehead in thanks for her efforts. What happened next is what I can only describe as a tidal wave of unconditional love pouring out of Pachen’s heart and flooding the entire room. As this energy washed over every molecule of my being I became overwhelmingly lost in the feeling and an uncontrollable stream of tears tracked down my face.
I was wrecked.
Endless minutes passed by as Kargill Lhamo then broke into tears, followed by Pachen and Lhamo Chokyi. I barely held it together long enough to reach the forest for my walk home where I allowed the floodgates to open up. And it was in that moment where I experienced a tiny glimpse of what it was like to love unconditionionally. Where until that moment; the enduring love I felt for my family and friends, and the all-consuming love I felt for my partner had become so inconsequential compared to the expansive love I then felt for all things and all people. Each insect, each tree, each stranger was equal in my heart as it felt like it was about to explode from its confines. In that moment; I knew that I would do anything and everything for their happiness and that its achievement was the key to mine.
The tears would not stop for hours and continued intermittently over the following days as I recalled the feelings of that brief moment in time. It has now become something burned into my being. I can never forget- and in this memory, I will always have hope for what the future of our world could be.