My spiritual awakening happened not so very long ago. If you read my first blog ‘An Aussie in Dharamshala’ you would already know part of this story. For those that haven’t; here are the salient points. It was July 2016, I was working in a job that was eating my soul alive, little by little. I had dedicated five years of my life to this company and was at the tail end of a restructure that saw my role made redundant. In hindsight, I think my team of guides were really looking out for me on this one as my life has never been the same since. In a good way.
I was at my desk one day after having just rejecting a desperate bribe from the company with offers of promotions and bonuses if I would just stay that little bit longer. Daydreaming of my last day at work and where I would go on holidays afterwards, I turned to my trusty friend Google and started a search on “relaxing holidays”. A tour to Tibet popped up in the results and as I clicked on the site to read the itinerary, a bubble of excitement rose up inside of me. Yes……. this is it. Less than a few weeks before the tour was meant to start I emailed the American guide and booked myself in. A friend of mine also decided to tag along after I relayed the story to her.
So, there we were, two Aussie girls joining an American tour group in Tibet where the only question I had asked the guide was “is it going to be spiritual?”. I soon discovered that the guide was an American University arts professor who specialised in Buddhist studies and that the three-week tour was going to be a short but intense introduction to Buddhist Lam Rim teachings. I was raised a Buddhist and went to a catholic school so not surprisingly, my religious beliefs were a little bit confused, and a part of me had always disdained the seemingly unfathomable rituals my mother conducted so diligently and blindly in her faith.
But the moment the professor opened his mouth and began his discourse on the teachings, I was riveted. In a trance, I soaked up every word and though I intellectually didn’t understand the majority of what was being said; my heart said “yes…I remember”. Everything shifted in me. The combination of teachings and the inexplicable connection I felt to Tibet woke up something inside of me that had laid dormant for so long.
When I got home from this trip I spent hours reading Buddhist texts and watching Youtube videos; convinced that this was my new calling. However, a couple of weeks later I began to feel unsatisfied. There has to be more. This is a massive part of my life but there has to be more. And synchronistically, I was led to a show on Gaia TV, which then led to another show, which led to another show. For weeks, months even, I binge-watched all the shows and all the documentaries this platform had to offer. It felt like I had received a lifetime of education in this short period of time. I went through all the usual emotions that people go through during their awakening when discovering the truth of our governments, health care systems and space programs etc. Shock turns into anger, followed by hopelessness and eventually renewed hope.
This hope and discovery led to spending two weeks in a Tibetan monastery in Nepal as well as my first dark night of the soul which I will write about in later blogs.
It’s been two years now since that awakening moment. It wasn’t a sudden flash of insight, but a chain of synchronistic events which opened the floodgates to where I am today. As I said earlier; I think my guides were looking out for me and definitely had a hand in orchestrating this story, for which I am eternally grateful.